What's been going down...

This is going to be pretty hard for me to blog about, but those of you that know me know that I am an open book and will share just about anything with anyone. So, here goes...if I ramble on, please forgive me!
So--most of you know that my husband and I are separated and were trying to decide how to proceed from there. Well, last weekend (that's another post in and of itself) solidified our decision to go full force and get divorced. This has been hard for me to swallow because I wasn't ready to totally give up and now, I am feeling a loss of the man that was my husband, even if we do end up being good friends (which is what I hope & pray for)after all is said and done. Originally, we were going to attempt to handle things ourselves, saving lots of money, by proceeding pro se. Well, I'm not exactly sure what changed this, but, I think that right now, we are both working to obtain counsel. I am hoping to be accepted as a pro bono case (shouldn't be too hard considering that I have no income)within the next month thru a legal aid program in my county. In the meantime, I am attempting to make heads or tails out of the mounds of paperwork necessary to file. I am beginning to see why lots of people go to the expense of hiring an attorney. I am finding myself asking "What do I put here?" or "What does THAT mean?" That being said, I am hoping that I can find someone to at least help me complete all of the paperwork and perhaps, too, represent my interests and those of the girls at the hearing. Like I was saying earlier, this hasn't been easy for me to accept. Never in a million years would I have looked into a crystal ball 6 years ago and saw this for my future. I thought that I would be one of those blistfully happy people living the good old American Dream. I am reading a wonderful book given to me by my counselor about how to survive the lost of a love. No, it doesn't deal with death or anything morbid like that but rather that it's okay to feel the way that I do and that I'm going to be okay, at the same time. I have learned that I don't always have to be strong, that I can show that I'm hurt, upset, anger, scared, etc.
Okay, that's the first half of what's happened lately. Here is the second part...
With the separation came the crumbling of my financial situation as I have been struggling for months (some harder than others) to find a job that will support myself and my daughters. Try as I might to make creditors understand my situation and cut me some slack, some have been better about it than others. One in particular has gone to a total extreme. **let this be a lesson to everyone to ALWAYS read the small print** One creditor, who will reman nameless, has decided that since I cannot pay them and they don't have a kind or sincere bone in their collective body, that they will take me to court to file a judgement against me regarding my past due account. It wasn't totally out of the blue because said creditor had been calling for weeks offering me payment plans and such but, honestly, I did not expect the phone call that came on Thursday. It was from the legal office that represents the creditor to inform me that a claim had been filed against me and that I had until the 23rd of this month to pay $1500 plus commit to a monthly payment or else. Basically, if I didn't pay them ASAP, they would give my case to the legal team (lawyers) to proceed with getting a court order for me to pay them. Words like "wage garnishment, severe penalties, covering their lawyer fees" were spilling out of this guy's mouth. This of course freaked me out. I don't have that kind of money, frankly, who does? I'm not proud of the thoughts that were going through my mind that led to an emergency counseling session to help me sort everything out. My counselor is a wonderful, patient woman who listened to me, allowed me to cry and then, got on the phone to get me some help. I have since learned what could happen if a judgment is issued against me (not as worse as I feared) and also that, I am going to be okay! Bad things happen to good people sometimes, but I firmly believe that this is happening for a reason and that I'm going to come out of everything better for it.
I guess that wraps up probably the longest post you've ever read. Thanks for reading!